Texting is huge, especially if you’re trying to win someone over. Texting with your crush (or “flirtexting”) gives you more opportunities to flirt with her than just hanging out. Now, instead of the fun ending when he goes home, the flirting can continue that evening and go on during the next day, all while building sexual tension.
Sexting is a fantastic way to show your crush that you’re thinking about him and want to be with him, but doing it right isn’t nearly as simple as you would believe. You have to be witty, playful and charming in just a sentence or two, and once sent, there’s no way to take a text back.
1. Be creative with your responses.
It’s hard to be original when you only have 160 characters to work with, but if you can pull it off, the person you’re flirting with will be impressed. When you’re trying to think of something flirty to text your crush, you should try to think of something no one else but you could say. This will pique the interest of your crush and will make her more likely to respond to you right away.
- Make your crush laugh. Start off with a short, funny statement about something you both saw recently, or that references a previous conversation.
- Make a clever observation. Your crush will certainly respond to that. Flirting with your wit is a great tactic. Just be original. Write something that no one would say but you.
2. Ask questions to initiate a response.
Asking a question is a great way to impress and flirt with your crush. It shows that you’re not texting just because you feel like it, but because you want to keep a conversation going and that you care what he crush thinks. Keep these in mind when you ask questions:
- Keep it simple. Just ask about something that happened during that person’s day or week, like how his friend’s birthday party went or if her vacation was as fun as she had wished.
- Ask open-ended questions. Don’t just ask a question that can be answered with a simple “yes” or a “pretty good.” Give your crush room to elaborate and to ask you something back.
- But don’t be too open-ended. Don’t ask a deep philosophical question that your crush doesn’t know how to answer. He may be confused by your message and could just give up.
- Don’t be boring. You’re less likely to get a response if you say something like, “What’s up?” or “How are you?” Be original, even when you ask questions.
- Be thoughtful. If you know your crush had an important event the day before, a text asking how it went shows that you pay attention.
3. Watch your grammar and spelling.
This may seem trivial and unconnected, but if you were flirting with your crush in person, then you would make sure your outfit was neatly put-together and that your hair was in place. Therefore, if you’re sending flirty messages, make sure you’re using suitable punctuation and that your sentences are complete.
- Don’t be sloppy. If you send sloppy or incoherent texts, it will look like you just don’t care to spend enough time skimming your texts.
- Remember that your writing doesn’t have to be perfect all the time. Just skim each of your texts before you send it.
4. Don’t come on too strong.
Subtlety is key. Try not to go overboard or your crush will be able to see that you’re trying too hard. Just relax and send a text when the time feels right. You shouldn’t spend more than a minute deciding what’s the best text to send.
- Don’t always send the first message. If you are, then your crush may not be so excited to hear from you. Play it cool and wait for your crush to chat with you first sometimes, but not all the time.
- Don’t try too hard to be funny. If your boo can tell you spent hours crafting the perfect opening, it’s not worth it.
- Remember that flirting over text isn’t so different from flirting in real life. You should still relax and take it easy if you want to be a successful flirt.
5. Keep their attention with teasing.
Teasing over text is a great way to flirt. Be a little bit playful and make fun of your crush, and let them make fun of you back. This shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously and that you’re invested in the person you’re texting.
- Keep it light. Tease your crush for watching a silly movie or spending too much time with his dog. But don’t be heavy=handed — you don’t want anyone’s feelings to be hurt, especially if it’s the start of a new relationship.
- Make sure your crush gets that you’re joking. It should be clear that you’re not trying to be offensive and that you just want to have some fun.
- If you have a silly nickname for your crush, use it when you’re texting.
- Send a wink face emoticon to show that you’re just teasing.
6. Show them you care.
Find a way to make it clear that you care about the person you’re chatting with, whether it’s by asking a question about his life or just asking how she’s doing.
- If your crush is feeling sick, check in to see if he’s feeling better.
- Use your crush’s name occasionally. Doing something this simple is a powerful way to get her to like you.
- Ask your crush’s opinion on a new movie or restaurant. This may even turn into plans to check out the new event together.
- Compliment them. Find a subtle way to let her know she looked great the other night, or that you liked his new haircut.
7. Be a little naughty.
You can find subtle ways to arouse them. You don’t have to say, “What are you wearing?” to show her you’re thinking about her in an R-rated manner. Here are some tricks to try:
8. Don’t act too eager.
Remember that you’re supposed to play it cool when you’re texting and flirting, so you shouldn’t be the person who sends twenty questions in a row or asks a question with a zillion question marks. If you’re too excited about texting the person on the other end of the conversation, it will be a major turn-off.
- Make sure you roughly text each other the equivalent amount of times. If you send him a dozen texts for every one of his responses, you have a problem.
- Emoticons are great for occasional flirtation but don’t overuse them. The same goes for exclamation marks and questions.
- Don’t answer the instant you get a text. Play it cool and wait a few minutes, or even a few hours, to answer unless the text is time-sensitive. If your crush takes a day to get back to you, don’t fire back a text immediately or you’ll look desperate.
- Don’t use texting to build a meaningful connection.
- Remember that no relationship is made or wrecked through a series of text messages. When you text your crush, remember that texting is a great way to flirt, to make plans, and to take the relationship into the physical world, but not a great way to build understanding or to really get to know someone.
- Keep it light. Flirting is all about having fun and being full of life, not about getting into a deep discussion.
- Spend more time talking to him than you do sending text messages.
9. Know when it’s time to stop.
You don’t want to be that person who keeps up a text conversation hours after there’s nothing left to talk about. When you’re talking to a new love interest at a bar, you should talk just long enough to hook the person and then say you have to go so you don’t drag it out. The same goes for texting.
- If you’re doing most of the talking in a textual exchange… it’s time to stop texting. Maybe even give up on them altogether.
- If you’re the one sending long messages and getting nothing back but one-word answers… it’s time to stop texting.
- If you can just feel that both of you are struggling to find something to say… it’s time to end the conversation.
- If you have the sense that you’re doing most of the talking every time and that the person you’re texting doesn’t seem too eager to get back to you… it’s time to end the conversation — permanently.
10. End the conversation on a high note.
Whether you’re just wrapping up the conversation because you’re busy or because you’re going to meet up with someone else, you should leave the person you like with something to think about. Don’t just say “Bye!” or that person won’t be thinking about you after you stop texting.
- If you’re meeting up, don’t be afraid to say that you can’t wait to see them.
- If you have to go, tell them where you’re going and what you’re doing. This will make you look like you have a great life outside of texting and will intrigue the person on the other end.
- Leave an opening to pick up the conversation at another time. Say that you’re looking forward to chatting about whatever is on your minds later.
11. Ask them out.
If your texting sessions have been going well, you should take your relationship to the next level and use texting as an opportunity to ask the person out.
- Keep it light. If you’re in the middle of a conversation, just say, “How would you like to pick this up over dinner or drinks?”
- Meet up in person. If you’ve really been texting the person a lot, you can say, “I really like texting you, but I think I would like talking to you even more. How about we continue this in person?”
- You can also be more casual. Instead of asking for a real date, you can invite the person out to join you and your friends for drinks or at a party.