(Christian here. This blog post is a Guest post from the winner of my From Beta To Alpha 6 Month Coaching Program Contest, Eric ‘The Chef’.)
It didn’t occur to me until a few months ago, how much improvement my text game needed. Face to face with a girl, I generally consider myself a charmer with a playful vibe and good stories about adventures abroad.
However, sometimes that humor does not transcend well into texting. I either get too silly, use too many smiley faces and have a hard time to hold frame and getting the girl to pursue me.
One of my favorite parts of Christian’s mentoring program is how I have instant access to any game question I may have by texting him. At least 1-3 times a week I’ll not be sure how to respond to a girl’s message. I’ll take a screenshot of the conversation and send it to Christian for analysis, like James Bond sending enemy information back to Q Branch. He’ll break down how to better hold the frame and convey a chill, non-needy vibe.
Here are 5 tips to texting I’ve learned along the way:
5) Turn Off Your Auto-Capitalization Feature On Your Phone.
Now when you text a girl, it has a much more laid back feeling.
4) Never Use Question Marks, Exclamation Points Or Emoticons.
For one, they just aren’t necessary. Your humor and it should be conveyed without any of these features. You can laugh a bit, but don’t do it often. Remember, your life is fucking awesome and full of cool shit and you don’t have time to waste by texting girls. Hit her up, drop a bit of charm and plan the date.
3) Grammar Is Also Unnecessary.
Again, it just makes you more laid-back.
2) Respond At Her Pace, Or Take More Time.
If she responds back in 15 minutes, hit her back in 20. If she waits 2 hours, you get back to her in 2.5-3 hours. It doesn’t have to be exact, just remember that it all comes back to respect. If she doesn’t respect your time by responding promptly, she doesn’t deserve a quick response.
It’s human nature that when you send a text, you naturally check your phone within 1-5 minutes for a response. If you have more discipline, you’ll put your phone on silent and put it in the opposite corner of the room, while you fill your time with productive things like working on yourself, your business or meeting more women.
Kick the validation habit of expecting a text quickly. The slow burn is powerful, as most chicks are surrounded by beta orbiters hungry for their attention.
1) Figure Out What Texts Work, And Play To Your Strengths.
After trial and error, I now have a pretty simple pattern. If I meet a girl I say, “it’s…the sexy chef from (where we met)” If they’re into me, they’ll respond back enthusiastically and if not, I move on.
Then I chill back for a day or two, and begin the conversation with:
Me: “hey cutie (or sexy), hows your day going”
Her: “blah blah.. you?”
Me: (something cool I did, usually involving cooking because I play to my strengths and chicks dig a guy who can cook)
Her: blah blah
Me: “let’s grab a drink sometime”
Her: (either a yes or a no, it’s just to see if she’s interested)
Me: “cool, lets hit up XYZ lounge they have the best cocktails in town, hows thurs at 9”
Her: (either a yes, no or maybe (which usually means no). If she counteroffers with another day, that’s a good sign. If she says, “maybe next week” that’s generally a terrible sign and she wants more validation as she’s demanding that you ask her out again if you want a shot with her. Wait a week, reinitiate the conversation and see what happens.)
I don’t think texting can be more stripped down.
Oh, and one more thing.
Be aware of shit tests.
I’ve seen this a lot, where a girl will respond with “I’m not a big drinker, but how about dinner.”
First off, that’s arrogant and entitled that if someone asks you out for a free and delicious alcoholic beverage that you respond with “No, how about you spend 3x-4x as much so you can fill my belly.”
Plus, nobody feels sexy after eating plates of Italian or Chinese food.
“water for u then, but XYZ has the best cocktails in town. how bout Thurs at 9”
In that response, I teased her by saying she can only have water and ignored her demand for dinner. Then I went right back into my offer and spiced it up with promising delicious cocktails (and, to be honest, they ARE the best cocktails in town. Plus the head bartender is a close friend…and it’s walking distance to my apartment).
Her response will reveal where she stands with you.
In fact, the better I get at the game, the more I’m learning how to filter girls out as quickly as possible.
She lives 45-60 minutes drive away? Rejected, as she’s geographically undesirable.
Is she 30 years old and still single? Nah, not worth jumping through all the hoops.
Does she have kids? Definitely not.
She’s a 7 but has a ton of attitude? Nope, plenty of better behaved girls who will respect my time.
Guys, what are your big issues when it comes to text? Drop a comment below and let’s help each other.