It’s rare to scroll through your Facebook feed without seeing something about how millennials have “killed dating” or how romance no longer exists in this generation.
I don’t know about you, but as a millennial who has confidence that romance and decent dates exist amidst the crappy ones, I’m sick of seeing all of the articles claiming that dating and romance don’t exist anymore, really, I am. The claims that dates these days solely consist of Netflix and chill irritate me deeply. P.S. as an aside, the term “Netflix and chill” needs to go away because we’re all sick of reading it and hearing the older generation use it incorrectly.
Maybe dates in the modern times don’t consist of having doors held for you, having your date meet your parents and then grabbing a soda pop at the ‘ol bowling alley, but that doesn’t mean every date is unromantic trash. With that being said, not every person you date is equivalent to a gentleman caller or suitor. I guarantee dating a decade ago had just as many so-called flaws as it does now, it just wasn’t plastered all over the Internet.
Maybe modern romance consists more of selfies and good morning texts, but is that such a bad thing? Society and technology evolve and the culture does with it. Who doesn’t love a good morning text? Romance isn’t waiting for someone else to make a move or perform a huge gesture, oftentimes it’s the small things.
If your date’s idea of a romantic date is ordering pizza and sitting on the couch and that doesn’t match your idea of romance, make a change. Not everyone’s idea of romance is the same. To me, romantic might be an unexpected bouquet of flowers but to someone else, it might just be helping to wash the dishes or remembering her Starbucks order. Remember that not everyone thinks like you and thus, not everyone defines “romantic” the same way as you.
Furthermore, no one’s forcing you to settle for crappy dates or to be with someone who doesn’t have the same ideas of what’s romantic and what constitutes a date. Lest we not forget that age-old expression, “it takes two to tango.” No one’s forcing you to hook up with a random frat dude who doesn’t treat you well (and if they are, it’s sexual assault). If that’s what you want to do, power to you, but you can’t claim that romance and the dating culture is trash if you’re settling for much less and you’ve given up. I mean, if you go out with someone and the date sucks, it wasn’t meant to be. A lack of chemistry and a shitty dinner date doesn’t mean romance has died and dating is doomed.
Can we also point out that it’s 2016 and the whole stereotype of the guy having to be the one to incite romance and walks on the beach is a load of BS? Feminism and women’s equality and all of that jazz are rising and it’s EVERYWHERE. It applies to this, too. If you think romance is dead, bring it back to life. You can’t rely on someone else to be romantic and build you a castle while you sit on a throne and scroll through Insta.
There’s nothing wrong with waiting for a knight in shining armor to carry you off into the sunset, but you also can’t be afraid to grab the reins yourself. We can’t claim that society has killed romance and the concept of dating because we are society and society isn’t just a giant amorphous blob. Society is made up of the individuals and blaming anything on society is just a cop-out. We are all individual people who have the capability to plan romantic dates, buy flowers, walk along the beach and watch the freaking sunset.
So, yeah, dating in the modern times might mean swiping right more often than you’re getting swept off of your feet, but is it really so bad? Kiss a few frogs, plan some romantic dates and find someone that gives you butterflies. Romance isn’t dead, you might just not be trying hard enough.