It is difficult when you have a crush. You know, that person who makes your heart pound like crazy, your mouth a bit dry, and the butterflies in your tummy fluttering like never before.
Approaching them face-to-face can feel like too much of an ordeal. Particularly if you don’t know whether the feeling is mutual, and that’s where the humble text can come in to save the day.
Where were we before mobile phones, we wonder? There were probably a lot more cases of unrequited love, simply because the person didn’t have the courage to contact their crush.
The beauty of a text is simple. You can write it, modify it, save it for later, ask your friends what they think about it… you can basically create the most perfectly crafted witty, flirty, clever little sentence in the whole world.
Face-to-face meetings where you want to come across as poised and sophisticated, but instead come off a stuttering and a little bit sweaty, just don’t do you justice in the same way a killer text can.
Things to think about when texting your crush
Texts are a perfect way to break the ice, put the feelers out there, and see what kind of response you get. You can keep them as casual as you like, and while the pain of a no reply or a not-what-you-had-hoped-for response can feel pretty bad, it is definitely not as crushing *or embarrassing* as being rejected face-to-face.
#1 Get the conversation started. Obviously securing your crush’s number is imperative. Try to do this as casually as you can. Blurting it out randomly in the middle of a conversation or running up to them breathlessly and demanding it in that half-shouting nervous voice of yours is not going to go down well at all.
Be as cool, calm, and collected about it as humanly possible. And once it’s secured, the next steps are much easier when texting your crush!
#2 Simplicity. For your first text, you might just want to keep things simple. A “Hi, how are you?” can work well, or just “It was great to see you the other day, we should try to bump into one another more often.” It all depends on how well you know your crush and how much you are willing to put yourself out there initially. If you are the kind of person who prefers to play it safe, then simple might be best. Try some of these:
-“Hey, how’s it going? What are you up to?”
-“Really enjoyed talking to you the other day, would be great to get to know you better.”
-“I was just thinking about what we talked about the other day, would be great to get your thoughts on…”
#3 Being funny. Being funny can work really well when it comes to texting your crush. Everyone wants to be with someone who can make them laugh. So if you can say something witty and clever, then you may well increase your chances of getting a response and getting your crush interested in you. Some funny messages you could write are:
-“Stop making me think about you. I’m busy.”
-“God, leave me alone already – why are you stalking me?!” This one only works as funny if they haven’t texted you already!”
-Or why not open with a joke? “Last night I renamed my iPod ‘The Titanic’ so when I plug it in it says, ‘“The Titanic is Syncing.”
Making him or her laugh is a great ice-breaker, and if they respond with something funny too, you’ll know you are onto a winner!
#4 Compliments. Giving someone a compliment is usually a sure-fire way to get them to respond when texting your crush. It is also more straightforward. It will demonstrate that you are not into playing games, that you like the person, and you want them to know it. This can be seriously refreshing to some people, and regardless, flattery usually will get you everywhere!
If you want to compliment someone, then be specific. “You’ve got nice hair” is kind of dull and shows that you haven’t put much thought into it. You could have texted that to loads of other people!
Make sure you keep it light too. Going too intense too early could really freak your crush out. Try these:
-That *insert item of clothing here* you were wearing the other day was super cool – you have a great sense of style.
-You have seriously incredible *insert eye color* eyes – they are so unusual, and pretty hot too!
Or simply just insert a little compliment into your text without making a big deal out of it i.e. “Hey good-looking” or “Hey cutie,” etc.
#5 Flirting. If you are texting your crush, then we can only assume you are doing so because you want to see it go somewhere. Obviously, you don’t have to rush in with the whole truth like, “I have a MASSIVE CRUSH ON YOU!!!” That might be a little too much for a first message *but hey, it has probably worked for some!*
Keeping your texts flirty will stop you from hitting the dreaded friend-zone. It is important to do this from text number one!
You might feel nervous, but if you ask them something mundane, or contact them under the pretense you want something from them, i.e. “Can I borrow that textbook you were talking about?” they may misread your intentions and start to think of you as only a friend. Don’t let that happen – be flirty in your messages at all times.
You could keep it simple:
-Morning sleepyhead… hope you have a great day! xo
-Would u rather… get your foot stuck in a bear trap or hang out with me this weekend?
Or more full on:
I’m thinking about when you wear _________ it is getting me seriously hot and bothered!
#6 Asking questions. Being interested in your crush is important. You want them to feel like you want to get to know them better, and that you have listened to what they have told you. If you have already chatted a few times, then make sure you remember something from the conversation and include that in your text. Asking a question makes it much more likely that they will reply as well!
-It was so interesting chatting with you about…
-Can you tell me more about…?
-You made me laugh so much when you said…
#7 Finding something in common. Finding common ground is a great way to start any conversation. Where do you know your crush from? Maybe it is a hobby or you work together? If you don’t know their likes and interests, then try to find them out.
Letting them know you both enjoy the same things will make them feel like you are more likely to get on.
#8 Having a checker. When texting your crush, it’s always good to have a buddy look over your text before you send it. If you think it might be a bit over the top or too forward, get someone you trust to take a look first. If they give you the go-ahead, then just be brave and hit send!
#9 Waiting time. After you have sent your text, it can be a very nerve-racking time waiting for your crush to respond. Don’t be too disheartened if your crush doesn’t respond right away – they may simply be busy doing other things, playing it cool, or desperately trying to think of what to text you back
#10 Responding. When your crush replies, the conversation has begun – well done! Responding naturally all depends on what they say, so make sure you pay attention to it. Answer their questions and ask some back to keep the conversation flowing.
As for when the right time is to ask them out, after a few messages going back and forth, bite the bullet and just do it. You don’t want the conversation to fizzle out, and you can’t just keep texting forever!
We all know that texting your crush can be a bit scary. But if you follow the above advice, you’ll no doubt come up with a great text that they’ll definitely want to respond to!